Even among homosexuals the topic of transsexualism is rather controversial. There are still some of the opinion that such people are only emulating what they feel society expects from them-that homosexual men and women are emotionally more like the opposite sex and must appear in kind. The result of this,once known as "camping it up" has resulting in cross-dressing Call it masquerading or drag, its a self conscious parody of heterosexual stereotypes. This is essentially a form of caberet theater that has both evolved and de-evolved down the generations-its social rules depending largely on the mental maturity level of those involved in the activity. Such people might actually demean those who don't need to cross dress to feel good about themselves. As hateful as this sound, such a person is making a conscientious choice. And not the majority of cross-dressers are not homosexual. Of course there are those who do not have a choice. These are men and women who have feelings all their lives that they feel more like the opposite sex physically and emotionally. This is known as transsexualism. Again a transsexual person may still be attracted to members of the opposite sex,but end up having a medical operation to become the opposite sex to themselves. Recently many celebrity transsexuals such as Chas ('ne Chastity) Bono have bought this more squarely into the public eye. In many chases,a transsexual person will start out as a cross dresser-only to find themselves in therapy in order to get a sex change when they realize who they are. I personally have seen this happen to a number of people I know. Especially if their family and friends are intolerant, this can be a very painful process for such people even today. Sadly in some cases in history,the matter of a sexual change wasn't one of choice. But rather thrust upon an individual. One recent example of this that I just recently learned about was shot putter Heidi Krieger-shown above. A 1980's era athlete in communist East Germany, from the age of 16 Heidi became unknowingly involved in the states athletic "doping program" and was given massive amounts of anabolic steroids-without her knowing what said "mystery pills" were outside of being told they would improve her performance as an athlete. Two years later, she had begun developing male characteristics. These became so prominent that in 1997, almost a decade after the collapse of the Berlin wall, did Heidi have a sex change operation and is currently known as Andreas-also shown above. Even though he claims he always did have some transsexual feelings beforehand, Andreas now maintains that he was at a critical point in life as an adolescent where his female genes were still in a state of flux due to puberty. And the steroids given to him changed his physical sexuality from female to male. The name once used to refer to homosexuals sociologically was the gay community. Over time and with much changes in political correctness that term has been expanded into the LGBTQ community-the "T" of course standing for transsexual. That probably has a lot to do with the realization among the majority of people that not every person who cross dressers or has a complete sex change is necessarily a homosexual. At the same time those homosexuals who only feel psychologically fit if they are wearing a dress and are not truly transsexual might want to take some time to reflect on the plight of someone such as Heidi/Andres Krieger, who willingly had a sex change but due to the environment she came up inevitably had to do so only because of being an unknowing Guinea Pig for someone else. The question of ones physical sexuality is strongly linked with ones self absurdness. Its important a person knows who they are before being too sure if they really do feel like a member of the opposite sex trapped in the wrong body, or if they merely dislike themselves because of the sex they were born with.
Only a few short days ago a friend of mine from Portland Oregon were discussing the previous blog I wrote here regarding the decaying nature of the gay bar as an important mainstay for the LGBTQ community. He made a suggestion that pointed I was not alone in my views on the subject. He came up with what may in fact still be a fairly radical idea-a totally chemical free LGBTQ community. His suggestion was broad and daring in scope. A soda fountain-my suggestion of also serving Vitamin water. A dance floor that played a huge variety of music from rock,jazz,funk and a more diverse variety of EDM type music-with the possibility of live bands. Also an adjunct gymnasium and book store with a bakery that would serve tea rather than coffee. I find myself asking does such a place exist? And if it doesn't,than why not. Perhaps if something even remotely like this does exist,it might be in major cities where the gay bar is becoming passe. On the other hand, the pretense of such a chemical free gay/lesbian center might run into difficulties in more rural areas based on a conversation I had with another acquaintance recently. After asking this person if they were attending their local Pride festival this year, he said that he wasn't because he doesn't feel comfortable with his perceived segregation of Pride parades-and feels similarly about black history month festivities. Its an interesting game people play with themselves isn't it? The need for privacy mingled with a hunger for community and brotherhood. So many people these more rural areas seem to want it both. And that probably goes right along with how they would perceive such a facility coming into their community. Of course there are other matters on a more personal level. One of the appeals of a small town gay bar probably has a lot to do with a long standing love of inexpensive liqueur. Undoubtedly alcohol is one of the worlds most popular drugs,so much so that many don't consider it to be a drug at all. Since the LGBTQ community have long been oppressed from even discussing their lack of civil rights, inebriation has allowed for many of them to speak openly of their feelings and concerns. This of course poses problems when either such expression leads to physical conflicts or the further abuse of very dangerous illegal drugs. I am frankly surprised that the government didn't put similar restrictions in the past on gay people drinking alcohol as they did on African American's taking cocaine in the early 20th century because the cultural perception is similar in both cases: that there is a "class" of people in society who can control themselves and a "class" who cannot. Another topic I discussed in a blog was technological futurism, of the type heavily propagandized by Cold War era America during the JFK era "new frontier" of the early 1960's. In terms of human beings and their treatment of each other, we all live in a world where a degree of sociological futurism might be the order of the day. That would probably embody itself in a form of secular humanism-a genuine from free of the brutality and despotic behavior of the socialist/communist political systems of yore who used the idea of humanism as pure and dishonest rhetoric. By taking their egos out of a pattern of self pitying,self destructive and irresponsible behavior and into positive and genuinely freeing forms of social interaction such as healthy exercise and literacy as indicated in my friends idea which inspired this, than the LGBTQ community would be leading the way in general human futurism and,rather than be seen (and see themselves) as a pariah on society contribute perhaps the most positively to its continual development.
According to an article written for Slate by June Thomas, in 2007 Entrepreneur magazine put gay bars on the list ofbusinesses on the verge of extinction along with record stores and pay phones. In two cases,that list was correct. And record stores have proven not to be one of those cases in actuality to add perspective. In the 20th century gay bars were to the LGBTQ community,before it was even broad enough to have such a name, what the Sanctified Church was to African Americans. It was not only a meeting place,but where sociopolitical movements began. Of course the historical Stonewall riots in 1969 took place at a gay bar. Several years ago gay bars became unneeded as most popular night spots became perfectly open to same sex couples conversing and dancing. That applies to major cities mostly. Even today, in the semi rural area of Maine I live in,its a totally different situation. Ever since I became aware of the earliest gay bar in my area called The Rage in the early 1990's, the gay community (as it was then referred to) depended solely on the gay bar in this area of Maine in order to network and meet each other. This was of course not yet a decade after the murder of Charlie Howard in 1984,which took place in the area where I lived and still live to this day. After the dissolving of my first relationship a gay club opened up in the town I lived in,actually right up the street. They had a dance floor and a full bar. This was during 2005-2007 when they shut down. I had my theories why they were short lived. But the fact was,this club represented how similar the lives of the homosexual in my area was still very much how it had been for the rest of America two decades earlier or more. I would overhear tales of people having physical rendezvous with their partners in cars on dark,secluded side streets. As if being homosexual was still something appropriate to be ashamed of. Eventually some extremely tragic events began to occur. Due to some unfortunate local politics, homosexual people in my local area were like anyone else living there. Quite a few of them were on anti depressants or some form of psycho active medication. Many of them had also developed alcoholism and other drug dependencies. This seemed particularly strong among the transsexual individuals who did drag shows at the club. A lot of them were not in fact transgender'd individuals. Many of them were simply ashamed of their man hood. Instead of people having fun-dancing,laughing,eating and being happy there was a lot of depressive drinking,solemn attitudes not to mention a degree of crying and what some of the more cruel customers of the bar would call "drama". By the early months of 2007 this club had closed. Unsure if the owners or attendees are still in the area, I'll restrain from mentioning the club's name. Overall this entire experienced nearly eroded some of my personal confidence in my own homosexuality. I started to feel displaced in the state in which I was born in. All of a sudden it became extremely difficult for me to mingle with many of the other people who'd gone to this club because at least one of them had made me into a subject of malicious gossip. It completely changed by point of view on the growth of the local LGBTQ community. Marching in the local Pride parade last year for the first time should've helped,and in the short term it did. But the main factor of it all remains. There is a reason why few to no mass social change movements have taken root where alcoholic beverages are being served. Hard alcohol is a well known depressant. And especially for middle aged homosexual men of the modern era,who've been told all their lives they aren't 'real men", these feelings of anger and anguish flow out in over arching ways when bought out with alcoholic consumption. My opinion? Perhaps the LGBTQ community in more sheltered and semi rural towns need to find a more productive way to socialize.
There are many of aspects of life that individual people are embarrassed about in themselves. Some look to either side of them if they nibble on their fingernails in public. A driver might look with regret upon tailgating someone in the car ahead of them while on the highway. And what about those who get a sudden urge for ice cream,wind up eating an entire carton single handedly and end up with a headache not from the ice cream,but the guilt they feel over fat content,cholesterol or whatever. At the same time,I've observed a source of embarrassment that creates more unnecessary social problems and even ill will towards fellow human beings than all of those things that I mentioned combined: religious doctrine. All over the world there are many types of this doctrine. There's the Muslim faith in the Middle East, Judaism in many areas of the world and other more personal spiritual practices such as Buddism and B'hai. Of course the most commonly known is the Christian Bible. Of course it has an old and a new testament to it. In the old testament there is a chapter of it called Leviticus,20:13 to be specific. Never read the entire bible myself. So I took it upon myself to investigate Leviticus 20:13. Of course there are many variations of the phrase but the gist of it is this: If a man also lie with mankind as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death: their blood shall be upon them. This has resulted in the source for one of the biggest human rights violations in history: active homophobia. Only a year ago or so the US president Barrack Obama made clear to the entire nation his support for two people of the same sexual orientation to get married. Now I'm a member of either the X generation or Millennial generation. Either way that is considered to be a group of people in history who are,to coin a phrase,just-don't-carish. Speaking for myself,I happen to care a great deal about other people. In fact I often drive them crazy because my convictions are so passionate. Being myself decidedly non religious, never mind non Christian, I've long considered the exact application of Leviticus 20:13 by a number of Christian organizations to be a hate crime-in the same league as the Nazi era racial cleansing to the southern US's own Jim Crow laws of over half a century ago. So the news of the Presidents support for this basic human right showed that someone more important in position than I cared as well. State by state the entire nation is starting to legalize same sex marriage. It has made the cover of almost every national magazine and into prominence in local state media as well. Just last year, the state of Maine where I live was one of the states that legalized marriage. It was particularly triumphant for me because I volunteered heavily and made a number of vital emotional sacrifices for EqualityMaine,the local organization that helped that happen. In fact,it was addressed in one of the very first blogs I wrote here in fact. I was also similarly involved in the 2009 campaign with the same organization for the same issue and,in that case the bill was vetoed on the local level and lost. On the second occasion,LGBTQ individuals chose to reach out to more people as completely nonthreatening and contributing members of society, who satisfied the personal understanding of most heterosexual families (even many Christians) thankfully and made this basic right come true for Mainers. This is going to be a wonderful and exciting summer for a lot of local same sex couples in the states that have legalized same sex marriage. This will be a wonderful time for them to have the rich full life any happy couple deserve. Many of them have been in a metaphorical waiting line for years sometimes in great hope that this day would come. Watching men and women of all races,knowing in some parts of the country marriage between a man and women of different races was one illegal as well,get married while they were excluded from this right over what essentially amounts to a hostile and threatening bible entry that takes less than 30 seconds to verbally utter. Of those who teach others to live by Leviticus 20:13 I can only say this: villains who twirl their mustaches are easy to spot. But a villain who clothes themselves in good deeds are well camouflaged. As for the cryptic photo you see above you,its visually symbolic of those I am dedicating this blog to. And those are the many homosexual people whom I know,and many more I don't,around me who grew up in an era when the type of attitudes that killed Charlie Howard and Matthew Shepard were commonplace. A time when Leviticus 20:13 was part of the "undeniable" word of "the good book" that 99% of the population lived by. This blog is for those who lived without freedom,without a voice and without a choice for years due to this simple right denied. And most importantly this is for my dear friend Phil,one of many who took their own lives due mainly to shame in who they were and what society denied of them all of their lives. They aren't here to see this day happen. Neither are people like Charlie Howard,whose life was taken from him by hate. This is dedicated to all those who made it to the top of this mountain top, and who can celebrate in triumph for the sake of their humanity.
Today begins a time period that during both of my parents youth would've been unprecedented. Its the beginning of Pride Month in the United States-all through the month of June. On different weekends,urban areas especially will be holding Pride events. The one near where I live have expanded this from merely a parade to include receptions and an art walk over the course of the weekend. So much as expanded in that and other ways,so very fast. Only a decade and a half ago the concept of a same sex marriage was mostly an enthusiasts dream for America,nowhere close to an accepted right due not just to government but intense religious hatred. Especially in largely church bound rural and semi rural New England communities. Last year I marched in the local Pride parade. I found myself chanting the old slogan "Out of the closets,into the street". Why would I utter a completely antiquated statement from the immediate post Stonewall period at a contemporary Pride parade? I have my reasons and that is what I am writing about today. I personally revealed my homosexuality to my family at the age of 22. Because I had no closet to come out of,it was simply something that had never been bought up and changed little. My parents had apparently known for years of this. Even than I was more than aware how lucky I was compared to other children. My immediate family were not bound by any hateful political and religious dogma of any sort. However even the most democratic and open minded people I knew of seemed to turn into fearful hate mongers regarding sexual orientation. Believe or not,in the area I live in during the early part of the new century and millennium the local youth and homeless shelters were still filling up with adolescents and young adults who were excommunicated from their families-in that case due primarily to religious convictions. Its an age old take I know. The interesting part of it all was this silent subculture of denial that began to spring up right before my own eyes. During my first years of being openly homosexual the only place for gay people to meet in the area was a nightclub called The Spectrum. It was very much like a gay bar of the 1950's. It was hidden in the lower part of a building across the street from the local library. There was no sign out front of any note,no marquis. When you went even to the front,you say men and women of all ages huddled in corners. The inside was an open atmosphere on the surface. Yet the same conditions applied in the end. The man who ran a concession stand opened up a small pride shop in the winter of 2003 called the Lil Treasure Shop. It was located in an area of town that I'd describe as the local skid row. The shop fared poorly in those economically difficult times and closed swiftly,and was very quickly forgotten. Of course it never would by me because I was asked to design the template and paint the outdoor sign for the shop. Sadly it closed before I could paint that sing. I still proudly have the template. That summer I witnessed the tail end of the Bangor Pride Parade that year. It had been going on since the 1992. However even in 2003 the attendance for the parade was approximately a hundred individuals. The parade ended quickly and was led by a limo-the only part of parade I saw,with its windows shut tight. What happened was is that these people marched from the Bangor Auditorium to the parking lot of the Spectrum. And they served food outdoors while the Eastern Maine AIDS network presented literature on condoms. At least half the people who attended,of whom I was actually not one, were in my age group. And a young African American woman interviewed by the local paper stated the truth about this diversity parade which indeed describes exactly what I'd say about the general state of being for homosexual,bisexual and transgendered people of the area. She said she thought there was not enough support for diversity in the town of Bangor. And that it could be a very close-minded place. The largest Pride parade I attended was the massive Southern Maine Pride events in 2004,and that event was very similar to the Boston Pride event so I've come to see from independent research.The Pride parades I attended in the last few years were entirely different events. These were family friendly affairs conducted in the same manner as any other summer fair in a town of this type. Now I'll admit I have enormous clinical issues with crowds in too hurried a state so I tend to stay aloof from the other participants and communicate little to them. But I watch and listen from an outsiders viewpoint. What I see under this colorful banner of diversity is something that makes me think. I see men younger than me largely in full drag or attired in some effeminate fashion-still "camping it up" in that age old model of heterosexual archetypes. I hear grown men in my parents age group referring to each other as "girls","queers" and sometimes even "faggots" as a casual form of greeting. Its clearly not meant in a hurtful way. Perhaps that is what disturbs me most about it: its become fully ingrained into at least this part of cultural identification for a homosexual man. Now I cannot speak for the lesbians I now. Their cultural world intermingles but still seems rather more separate from that of men. However seeing this alienating lines of separation within a community of people preaching hope and diversity-sometimes looking at themselves with a degree of self loathing-sub consciously without realizing it,I thought of the homosexual people who were just coming of age after the Stonewall riots. And the sense of the sudden and complete liberation they shared when they were able to present themselves as human beings just as any other-with a difference but still a human being capable of goodness and love. This inspired me to remember an early gay pride slogan "2-4-6-8/gay is just as good as straight/out of the closet/into the streets". That is probably why the last part of that axiom suddenly spewed out of me that day. The last two years have seen major changes. Maine along with many other states have granted same sex couples the right to get married legally. Its just as an historical event as women getting the right to vote in the early part last century.In the next series of blogs I will be exploring more individual sides of this topic. And this will serve as my introduction. Have Pride in who you are,and most of all how you are. Its all more significant and interrelated than one might think.
Looks as if there is a personal confession here at the start of this. For most of my life, its been extremely difficult to keep my room clean. When I was younger it would frustrate my parents and they'd clean it up for me. Or take the old Joy Berry (80's era child educator) approach and just put my things into a trash bag in a closet until I learned how to clean them. Going to go out on a limb here and say this probably happened to a lot of children. Yet cleaning up the mess on my floor still highly frustrates me. I know where I want to put everything around me. But the sheer immensity of it all appears overwhelming. Only on are occasions when I am in the correct mindset can I clean my room properly to see day. And its a difficult one to achieve. This month I faced the difficult task of cleaning out both my room and my psyche. Both are only partially complete at present. But this is going to be about four lessons I learned this month while cleaning out my metaphorical "psychic bedroom". So at the risk of any self indulgence,I can only hope what is said here will inspire. These stories are meant to create perspective,and I'd like to try in little ways to help others will my own lessons learned. The first lesson that I learned this month is that art and commerce do not mix. A recent attempt to submit my art for display locally taught me that. Sure its a cliche perhaps. Some people might even see it as an excuse,or artists who make such statements as being "slackers" unwilling to try harder-with more of a desire to inspire than perspire. Nothing in our society could exist without art-whether the most practical of office building or the most beautiful gardens, the same society which desires these things treats those who create them as if they are beggars,thieves or sometimes even criminals. Makes some artists think of themselves as somehow deserved of a completely menial existence. When I think of submitting art for approval,as if one is a competing student waiting to be judged solely for their creative contributions to the world around them,it has the effect of being greatly beyond soul destroying. Any sort of competitive co-existence is antithetical to creative arts. We all saw that in iron curtain countries even more so. First programs cut to meet budget? Art. More appropriate to create art than commerce from it,and find a way to balance it towards making a happy and productive living.
The second lesson I learned is that their is an enormous functional different between the people of the world and the world itself. So many times I hear people say "the world is so sickening sometimes" or "the world is so wrong" to paraphrase John Lennon. Sometimes these phrases are bandied about to such a degree a lot of people easily neglect the simple truth: even the greatest of activists are not necessarily trying to make the world a better place. Left to its own devices,this world is quite a beautiful and productive place. Nature understands its own checks and balances quite well. When someone is saying they are trying to "save the world",they are rather arrogantly assuming that its humanity's duty alone to make or break the future of the planet Earth. That our socio politics outweighs that of the other thousands of other life forms we share the planet with. So even though I am steadily growing into the mindset of a strongly socially aware individual, it seems more appropriate to refer to these as looking to make the people of the world treat each other and the planet better rather to merely wax megalomaniacal by stating that I am trying to "save the world". Its a big and powerful planet. It bought me to life and it can end it whenever it wants. The physical world will save itself better if humans do not arrogantly damage it in their self centered delirium. The third lesson that I learned is that putting the past totally behind you is to deny oneself a future. One of the things that I have been told is that "living in the past",as the saying goes will only make it hard to live in the present and will tie you down like an anchor to a lower sea level you will never have the chance to raise to the surface again. Yet with everyone around me from family,friends,and even those who insist that talking of the past is self indulgent and harmful psychologically are in all honestly awe inspiring in the level in which they easily evoke their own personal past to make sentimentally based (and often opposing) points. The idea seeming to be that its wrong for anyone to think about the past but the person who states it. In the end, the past cannot help but come up. The human mind never seems to perceive time as a straight line. If it did, that which occurred in our past would not effect our future. Human beings need to have their past,present and possibilities of the future available to them at all times as the one reference guide we wouldn't so easily lose on,say a city bus. One that is in our minds and in our hearts. That brings me to the fourth and final lesson that I learned. And that is I somehow have to not look down on myself because many people may choose to vilify people like me whether they or I like it or not. I stated this relatively clearly a couple entries ago when I discussed the Time magazine cover story looking far down their nose at people of my age group-people struggling their way through life as so many changes are coming thick and fast. Self confidence is a very easy thing to talk about,to the point where it sometimes becomes an almost annoying buzz word. But the achievement of it for anyone is an extremely taxing process that is the end result of such an enormous set of trails and tribulations that,by the time ones desired confidence level is achieved,it may have the ironic effect of feeling much like a defeat. It was even told to me recently that there is a school of thought that the more people say,the less they know. So the less communication one has,the less people talk,the more they know. Perhaps not knowing is really the beginning of wisdom. Yet not communicating is the absence of wisdom. So if communicating too much is self centered and narcissistic,how can a society of mute individuals accomplish anything at all? The musician Brian Eno once said of Americans,New Yorker's in his specific case,that we were a culture with little sense of honor. That the average person one would meet on the street of this nation is so willing to bear their hearts and emotions to another. And one of the most significant parts of honor is holding back-keeping emotions to one self. I suppose in his specific viewpoint I would be the poster boy for what he was talking about. Honor is about dignity and bravery. And those two conditions simply don't function very well when so many important things are kept private. It has the effect of making someone angry and cynical-even if they don't want to be. The reason I learnt these lessons I talked about this month came from the fact that I almost ended up on an extremely cynical road-something I actively dislike in contemporary culture since the early 1990's. One has to always be aware of who and what is around them. What is happening. What's being said and what's not being said. One needs to hear it with their own ears if possible,not through the filter of another. And most importantly,being angry about any injustice either sociological or individual is only appropriate if your passionate enough about hope to change the given injustice. Sometimes the littlest things we do bare the best fruits. And that is the ultimate flower of the lessons I have learned.
Memorial Day of this year is laying very heavy on my own heart. Its never been a holiday that's been particularly comforting for me. Whenever I go to the store I am asked to donate money to help troops. You go into the grocery store and you see a person pushing a young man in a wheel chair missing more than one limb. People will say he sacrificed to help his country. But you see in his eyes,in his face that he is in great pain. You might also see he regrets it. If he was in the last war,he might've seen a bunker buster bomb scatter pieces of shrapnel about. And after its over,perhaps seen a mother and father...holding pieces of their babies. This is horrible imagery to read isn't it? Well this is what war is. Most who are causalities in war are women and children. While we honor our dead soldiers in America,what of the many that they themselves murdered under orders? Who did nothing? Who have no grave Marker? No body? Do we think of these people? If one thinks about war and why people say their willing to die and kill for "god and country" as the saying goes, one might want to think of their behavioral impulses. Many people might have impulses that are not healthy. Addictions are an unhealthy impulse. If an alcoholic stares at a drink too long,their impulses will compel them to drink it-no matter what the results. What of the young man who watched two planes crash into the twin towers in New York on September 11th,2001? The man whose mind was filled with images of "the axis of evil" and Islamic terror organizations? Who had it in his head he wanted to defend his country against these types of people. Frankly if he is no longer alive to comment on that,he'd be among the lucky ones. Despite what we're shown on television,I've personally seen many of the injured soldiers in everyday life. These are tormented men and women,mostly men it seems. With many regrets. Its no wonder why people often hunger to fight in wars. One of the most popular and heavily watched television programs in America is the WWE-World Wrestling Entertainment. This is a staged form of entertainment sometimes advertised as a "male soap opera". What does that mean? This is a program that features one man verbally trading venomous insults with another man-usually dressed in some type of fancy costume. Than they will physically fight the other. Sometimes you will see blood seeming to shoot from someone's mouth. There are strobe lights everywhere. People cheering in the audience. From an outsider perspective,I see it as a modern day extension of Roman gladiatorial fights-a popular entertainment manipulating its viewers subliminally for entering the battlefield of war-for having an enemy and hurting them,even killing, if they disagree. The military advertise very heavily during many sporting events,including WWE. There seems to be an assumption that those watching these programs are in a male demographic and likely have a lot of internal aggression. If any man even cheers and is made to feel happy about a competing football player physically attacking another,or a wrestler hurting the man who insulted him, it might have the affect of psychically numbing the viewer to the very idea of fighting and killing. Such a person makes an ideal soldier. They may even obey orders to slaughter without question. Is this some huge conspiracy? Nothing so grandiose it seems. Often enough this seems to be part of the fabric of American existence itself. Because self sacrifice is made to appear so heroic, there remains a strong public perception of anyone who is seriously anti war as an anarchist-an unpatriotic person who feels entitled to freedom itself. That the only way to maintain freedom anywhere is to kill and die for it. Politics,as in life is filled with enormous contradictions. One of America's founding fathers once stated that in an informed democracy its citizens will behave in a responsible fashion. This is also the same man who stated that science is important to the preservation of our republican government, and that it is also essential to its protection against foreign power. In modern society it is largely the republican end of the government that prefers to cause wars. It is populated by men psychically numb to killing and those who will be killed in the wars they start with often equally war mongering leaders of the same foreign governments they oppose. In the end war merely becomes a very high level version of a contact sport: someone is hurt, the other party wants to hurt them back. At the same time none of what I've just said is at all original. Its been repeated again and again and again. Most of them its seen as a concept to laugh at or even pity. So what makes my own say in this age old argument so significant? In the grand scheme of things I could cynically retort that my opinion doesn't make any difference. But so many people say that too. I saw my opinion matters equally as much as everyone else who speak out as I do about fighting and killing. Lately I've been barnstormed by many people,even some family,for having entitled behaviors in regard to my convictions. Truth be known a few times I've slammed my fists against a counter or shouted at the air. Do I feel these warlike aggressive tendencies myself? No. Just anger at the fact these matters are spoken of, but seldom ever seriously addressed in the world at large. While we have our weekend BBQ's and family cookouts this weekend,or even as we put flowers on the graves of loved ones who have passed many might think easily about those who died in war. I would like to hope that it will be more than a select few,including myself,who will be haunted by the fact that war is still perceived as appropriate in modern society as it exists. Its perfectly sane of mind to feel anguish at such ghastly death as exists in war. Any democracy whose people are inherently good deserved to be informed on the truth of war,death and fighting a lot better then they are
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